I feel your pain every time I read your letters Lisha, the pain of thinking we’ve ‘done it all wrong’ when we can only do it the way that comes naturally and it’s good enough, more than good enough, it’s perfect! The pain and guilt of trying and failing to wean hungry mouth from breast, two and a half years with my son, two and a half years of broken sleep, of him sapping me of every ounce of strength I had… it was long but I survived and so did he when I could not continue… despite the guilt and the tears and the screaming!
We can only ever do our best lovely and it’s always enough because we are their mothers… xxx
I keep having to remind myself not to use my 9-year-old's experience (or rather my experience with her) as a model for mothering the 3-year-old. They're not the same person, I'm not the same person to each of them. But I am, really I am, trying my best to mother them both the way that works for each of them.
Beautiful! There are so many places we chase "enough." But in parenting, it's particularly poignant. Can we ever give our children "enough" love and attention? My two boys are 32 and 30. I still have a longing in my heart to know that they feel my love for them--and that my love, and my ability to communicate it to them, is truly "enough."
Thank you, Dan! I think it might just be the inevitable human nature to want credit for giving all that love and attention, and then feeling guilty for wanting that credit. It's a vicious circle that puts us in fear of not being acknowledged, not being seen. It's a selfish thing. Maybe the question we need to ask ourselves as parents is not "have we done enough?" but "is my love seen enough?" That should put us in our place, I reckon, ha!
The guild of motherhood is constant isn’t it. I grew that is societies (the patriarchy’s) eyes we will never do or be enough. But for our kids we can. We are enough even when we loose our temper at times or get distracted into imaginary worlds 💛
I feel your pain every time I read your letters Lisha, the pain of thinking we’ve ‘done it all wrong’ when we can only do it the way that comes naturally and it’s good enough, more than good enough, it’s perfect! The pain and guilt of trying and failing to wean hungry mouth from breast, two and a half years with my son, two and a half years of broken sleep, of him sapping me of every ounce of strength I had… it was long but I survived and so did he when I could not continue… despite the guilt and the tears and the screaming!
We can only ever do our best lovely and it’s always enough because we are their mothers… xxx
I keep having to remind myself not to use my 9-year-old's experience (or rather my experience with her) as a model for mothering the 3-year-old. They're not the same person, I'm not the same person to each of them. But I am, really I am, trying my best to mother them both the way that works for each of them.
Beautiful! There are so many places we chase "enough." But in parenting, it's particularly poignant. Can we ever give our children "enough" love and attention? My two boys are 32 and 30. I still have a longing in my heart to know that they feel my love for them--and that my love, and my ability to communicate it to them, is truly "enough."
Thank you, Dan! I think it might just be the inevitable human nature to want credit for giving all that love and attention, and then feeling guilty for wanting that credit. It's a vicious circle that puts us in fear of not being acknowledged, not being seen. It's a selfish thing. Maybe the question we need to ask ourselves as parents is not "have we done enough?" but "is my love seen enough?" That should put us in our place, I reckon, ha!
Perhaps not now, but soon, they will both know that Lisha… ♥️
The guild of motherhood is constant isn’t it. I grew that is societies (the patriarchy’s) eyes we will never do or be enough. But for our kids we can. We are enough even when we loose our temper at times or get distracted into imaginary worlds 💛
So so true Tansie.
Wonderful. Beautiful writing. You took me back!! Trying to constantly aim at being enough. The exhaustion!
Every mother's story, isn't it?
Certainly is!!